If you're wondering why I haven't written in a while, it's because I felt lead to not use social media as well as to not touch my blog for 8 days. The reason? January 20 I hit a point where my priorities were all out of order. It wasn't even a matter of me being "distracted", It was a matter of me no longer putting my relationship with God first and foremost in my life- He was not my priority. I could not live like that.
So I began a social media fast in which I desired God to: Reveal Himself to me, Awaken my heart, and Allow me to dream as my passions arose and burned. I found myself in such desperation for God, I wanted Him to teach me His ways, show me His heart and instruct me how to love like Him.
I quickly realized that in this time, God was really going to test and refine my character, as well as renew my mind and purify my heart. Those are things I greatly desired (as they ought to be), I just knew the process would not be a walk in the park. But I was willing.
I found it difficult at first to not pull out my phone and mindlessly scroll on facebook, but then, with time, found it unbelievably fulfilling to pursue God in those pockets of my day where there is "nothing to do". There could be no better use of my time, and as I pursued Him, my heart was awakening.
I desire for my character to be developed, because in a world whose priority is power, authority, money, influence, etc, I want my character to be able to withstand whatever the world has to offer because ultimately I want Jesus and Jesus alone.
Nothing and no one can satisfy my heart and soul like He does.
So I began a social media fast in which I desired God to: Reveal Himself to me, Awaken my heart, and Allow me to dream as my passions arose and burned. I found myself in such desperation for God, I wanted Him to teach me His ways, show me His heart and instruct me how to love like Him.
I quickly realized that in this time, God was really going to test and refine my character, as well as renew my mind and purify my heart. Those are things I greatly desired (as they ought to be), I just knew the process would not be a walk in the park. But I was willing.
I found it difficult at first to not pull out my phone and mindlessly scroll on facebook, but then, with time, found it unbelievably fulfilling to pursue God in those pockets of my day where there is "nothing to do". There could be no better use of my time, and as I pursued Him, my heart was awakening.
I desire for my character to be developed, because in a world whose priority is power, authority, money, influence, etc, I want my character to be able to withstand whatever the world has to offer because ultimately I want Jesus and Jesus alone.
Nothing and no one can satisfy my heart and soul like He does.
You might be wondering why I posted a picture of chocolate chip pancakes and eggs...
Last night I got to leave the tent before midnight and go home. I was unbelievably thankful because I was exhausted and greatly desired rest. After journaling, I fell asleep about 2 am. I was awakened about 3:36 am. I looked to God and prayed. My mind was tired, but I found my heart to be thankful because I was awakened by laughter and conversation. There are SO many people around the world who fail to sleep because of genuine fear, displacement or other factors that people should never have to face. But I did not nor do I know what it is like to live in that caliber of fear. After 20 minutes or so of praying, I fell asleep. At 5 am, I was awakened again and I turned over to fall back asleep, but quickly realized- I was wide awake. I'm presently reading "The Four Loves" by C.S. Lewis, and really felt lead to read some of it. So I did, and I went to bed about 7:10 am. I ask God to give me deep and refreshing sleep, and at 7:45 am, I wake up completely refreshed. I couldn't help but laugh at my sleep throughout the night- or lack thereof I should say.
I walked into the kitchen and decided I was going to actually make myself some breakfast. I'm never awake at this time of day, and so I was going to make the most of it! Chocolate chip pancakes and eggs it was, and oh my was it delicious!
What I found myself desiring was to know and understand the depth of God's love. Love is incredibly powerful, it is gentle, it is kind, it is slow to anger, it is gracious, it is unconditional, it is believing, it transforms for the better. I'm quickly realizing that if I do not have love, I have nothing at all.
We have a choice, and it's a daily choice. When circumstances do not go our way, yeah we can pout and complain, but we can also choose peace, life, joy! I found that I had incredible grace throughout this night, now morning, and eventually day and night to have my heart remain open, light and full of hope.. I'll be up until 4 am or so today and so I know God's grace will continue to sustain me. Yeah, I was a little slow to wake up and I was so disappointed that my night of "resting" did not appear to be so. But then again, it totally was a time of rest and I found my heart rejoicing as I was looking to God, communing with Him and really seeking Love Himself. I would LOVE to be sleeping right now, but then again I would not change last night or this morning.
When people do not respect you or they wrong you, you have a choice. I find the more I die to myself and come alive in Christ, the better I am able to respond in love to those around me. We need to be pursuing God and be getting filled by God, so that we can overflow with His goodness, kindness, grace, compassion, etc.
What I want to say in this post is: Your attitude and how you respond makes a difference. Thankfulness makes a difference. Do not be dictated by your circumstances but choose to influence and be moved by love and compassion. Seek to see the purpose in each moment and seek to move and operate in love. We do not have to do it out of our own might, but it is by the grace, love and mercy of God.
Today I want to encourage you to be patient, gracious and kind. Do not react to what goes on around you- but choose to respond in love. Constantly allow your heart to be in a posture of gratitude and thankfulness, and allow God to refine your character and re-align your attitude with His ways. You will not regret allowing God to transform you out of His kindness. Have a beautiful day and week. You are loved, absolutely loved.
Stay tuned for my next post about being "Pursued".
Last night I got to leave the tent before midnight and go home. I was unbelievably thankful because I was exhausted and greatly desired rest. After journaling, I fell asleep about 2 am. I was awakened about 3:36 am. I looked to God and prayed. My mind was tired, but I found my heart to be thankful because I was awakened by laughter and conversation. There are SO many people around the world who fail to sleep because of genuine fear, displacement or other factors that people should never have to face. But I did not nor do I know what it is like to live in that caliber of fear. After 20 minutes or so of praying, I fell asleep. At 5 am, I was awakened again and I turned over to fall back asleep, but quickly realized- I was wide awake. I'm presently reading "The Four Loves" by C.S. Lewis, and really felt lead to read some of it. So I did, and I went to bed about 7:10 am. I ask God to give me deep and refreshing sleep, and at 7:45 am, I wake up completely refreshed. I couldn't help but laugh at my sleep throughout the night- or lack thereof I should say.
I walked into the kitchen and decided I was going to actually make myself some breakfast. I'm never awake at this time of day, and so I was going to make the most of it! Chocolate chip pancakes and eggs it was, and oh my was it delicious!
What I found myself desiring was to know and understand the depth of God's love. Love is incredibly powerful, it is gentle, it is kind, it is slow to anger, it is gracious, it is unconditional, it is believing, it transforms for the better. I'm quickly realizing that if I do not have love, I have nothing at all.
We have a choice, and it's a daily choice. When circumstances do not go our way, yeah we can pout and complain, but we can also choose peace, life, joy! I found that I had incredible grace throughout this night, now morning, and eventually day and night to have my heart remain open, light and full of hope.. I'll be up until 4 am or so today and so I know God's grace will continue to sustain me. Yeah, I was a little slow to wake up and I was so disappointed that my night of "resting" did not appear to be so. But then again, it totally was a time of rest and I found my heart rejoicing as I was looking to God, communing with Him and really seeking Love Himself. I would LOVE to be sleeping right now, but then again I would not change last night or this morning.
When people do not respect you or they wrong you, you have a choice. I find the more I die to myself and come alive in Christ, the better I am able to respond in love to those around me. We need to be pursuing God and be getting filled by God, so that we can overflow with His goodness, kindness, grace, compassion, etc.
What I want to say in this post is: Your attitude and how you respond makes a difference. Thankfulness makes a difference. Do not be dictated by your circumstances but choose to influence and be moved by love and compassion. Seek to see the purpose in each moment and seek to move and operate in love. We do not have to do it out of our own might, but it is by the grace, love and mercy of God.
Today I want to encourage you to be patient, gracious and kind. Do not react to what goes on around you- but choose to respond in love. Constantly allow your heart to be in a posture of gratitude and thankfulness, and allow God to refine your character and re-align your attitude with His ways. You will not regret allowing God to transform you out of His kindness. Have a beautiful day and week. You are loved, absolutely loved.
Stay tuned for my next post about being "Pursued".