Two nights ago, I was so eager to post about milestones being reached. Milestones such as, leading my first amplified set on guitar (I've lead many on the keyboard), and playing a total of 2.5 hours on guitar (more than I've ever done before). But why is it that we aren't so eager to post about the things that aren't so picture perfect? I want to be real, I want to be authentic, I want to be me. Sometimes I don't have it all together. Sometimes I really struggle with taking thoughts captive and proclaiming truth. Sometimes I'm flat out exhausted and unmotivated, and that's ok! In the midst of highs and lows, I become increasingly aware of how constant Jesus really is.
Last night I pulled a double shift (6 pm- 3 am) at David's Tent. Literally, the night was absolutely incredible! When it came time to lead worship at 1:30 am, I completely hit a wall. My voice was giving out, I was exhausted, and I felt conflicted. I want to worship God with all I am, but in that moment it felt like all I was, wasn't that much.
I'm realizing how I'm not one to do things halfheartedly, I'm not one to try and fake it until I make it. I just simply want to move in passion, genuineness, authenticity, kindness, love and purity.
So it's not a big deal, but I totally struggled to lead worship from 1:30-2:30 am. Like the struggle was straight up real. As my frustration increased, I re-fixed my gaze on Jesus. I told Him this:
"Jesus, I would rather not worship You than to sing halfheartedly to You. You deserve the best and I know this isn't my best. I want to give You my best."
I continued to pray, I really began to speak with the Lord. I began to thank Him for the privilege to worship Him when I'm full of energy as well as when I'm exhausted. I thanked Him that I get to choose HIM over my flesh and my mind. I thanked Him that I could worship Him simply on the piano or guitar, without voice- as my voice was feeling ever so weak in that moment. Thanksgiving began to overflow out of my heart, and rose to heaven. Transformation continued. The Lord sustained me, as He always does.
Jesus is just kind. He really loves us as we are. We don't have to have everything all together, but we walk with Jesus, we surrender, we allow Him to renew and transform us. We rest in the truth that we are seen, known and loved by God. Celebrate the seasons on the mountaintop, celebrate the seasons in the valley, see the good in the desert seasons, see the purpose in every season. Remember who God is and what He's done. The highs and lows, and everything in between- let every circumstance and opportunity transform you and lead you closer to Jesus.
Become so anchored in the Lord that even a bad day, isn't that bad because you know that God works all things out for your good. We were made for God, we were made for love! Encounter the love of God, receive His peace that surpasses all understanding. Allow the Lord to renew your mind. Lean on Him, for He will never let you down. We are His Beloved, we are loved, we are secure in Him.
Last night I pulled a double shift (6 pm- 3 am) at David's Tent. Literally, the night was absolutely incredible! When it came time to lead worship at 1:30 am, I completely hit a wall. My voice was giving out, I was exhausted, and I felt conflicted. I want to worship God with all I am, but in that moment it felt like all I was, wasn't that much.
I'm realizing how I'm not one to do things halfheartedly, I'm not one to try and fake it until I make it. I just simply want to move in passion, genuineness, authenticity, kindness, love and purity.
So it's not a big deal, but I totally struggled to lead worship from 1:30-2:30 am. Like the struggle was straight up real. As my frustration increased, I re-fixed my gaze on Jesus. I told Him this:
"Jesus, I would rather not worship You than to sing halfheartedly to You. You deserve the best and I know this isn't my best. I want to give You my best."
I continued to pray, I really began to speak with the Lord. I began to thank Him for the privilege to worship Him when I'm full of energy as well as when I'm exhausted. I thanked Him that I get to choose HIM over my flesh and my mind. I thanked Him that I could worship Him simply on the piano or guitar, without voice- as my voice was feeling ever so weak in that moment. Thanksgiving began to overflow out of my heart, and rose to heaven. Transformation continued. The Lord sustained me, as He always does.
Jesus is just kind. He really loves us as we are. We don't have to have everything all together, but we walk with Jesus, we surrender, we allow Him to renew and transform us. We rest in the truth that we are seen, known and loved by God. Celebrate the seasons on the mountaintop, celebrate the seasons in the valley, see the good in the desert seasons, see the purpose in every season. Remember who God is and what He's done. The highs and lows, and everything in between- let every circumstance and opportunity transform you and lead you closer to Jesus.
Become so anchored in the Lord that even a bad day, isn't that bad because you know that God works all things out for your good. We were made for God, we were made for love! Encounter the love of God, receive His peace that surpasses all understanding. Allow the Lord to renew your mind. Lean on Him, for He will never let you down. We are His Beloved, we are loved, we are secure in Him.