But I haven't been pursued! I have had guys interested in me but I either haven't been ready or they never expressed their feelings towards me. I don't want just any man, but I want a man of God- a man in full pursuit of God who then knows how to fully pursue me with pure intentions.
In a moment, I heard God tell me "I am pursuing you."
My heart stops. The creator of my heart and soul, the only One who knows me inside and out- is pursuing ME. Yesica Goblirsch- He is pursuing ME. And I never have to question His motives because He is so pure, so kind and genuinely loves me and has my best interest in mind. My Creator and Lover is pursuing me with PERFECTION and pure motives. He is pursuing ME, and I have not been aware or paid attention to His beautiful pursuit of me. So how the heck do I expect my husband on earth to pursue me if I am paying no attention to my most faithful and beautiful Pursuer?
I have decided to focus on God and to allow Him to pursue me, allow Him to love me, allow Him to woo me. I'm not giving myself any power or authority in this area, it's just a simple matter of God being a gentleman and not forcing Himself on me. It's up to me to receive and respond to God's pursuit and love- and it's up to YOU to receive and respond to God's pursuit of you and to receive the love He has for you!
Plus, as I am wooed by my Lover, something is instilled in me that will not allow me to settle for a man who will love me less than I deserve. To be honest, I did not feel worthy of being pursued by a man of God. I felt too tainted, I felt like no man of God would desire to be with someone like me because of my story. Now many of you do not know the extent of my story because growing up I had an "impenetrable" wall and never allowed anyone to fully see me or even love me. That may sound intense, but it's true. But God is my good Father and He has the best for me, and He is YOUR good Father and has the best for you too!
(I also want to thank y'all for reading this. I just feel so strongly to share this with you all.)
So a couple days ago my friend, roommate and sister Hannah approached me and asked for permission to speak/confirm my identity. Of course I said yes.
She starts declaring who I am, then proceeds to pray over me. A couple of the things I had on my heart were: I'm not worthy for a man of God, I'm tainted and I'm not beautiful. FLAT OUT LIES. She didn't know what lies the enemy placed in front of my face, but she proceeded to pray. She told me to keep worshipping with piano and voice, that God is going to give me songs and that heaven is released as I worship God. She told me my husband is going to be handsome because of how beautiful I am, that right now (& forever) my husband is faithfully pursuing God, and when we meet he will know I'm the one and I will know he is the one. (I do believe in true love & even love at first sight). She told me I will not have to change him, that he is going to pursue me and he will lead me spiritually. Then she told me that with everything I have gone through, the enemy never touched my soul, spirit or heart- but rather, God surrounded me and continues to surround me with His light and the enemy cannot penetrate this line! She continues to say that the light of Jesus in me shines so brightly that the enemy is blinded. I'm waking up to who I am, most importantly I'm waking up to who God is and how He loves me. My life matters- I am a woman of value and I am SO tired of the deception of the enemy!!! She continued to tell me I'm pure- even that when she met me she saw me as SO pure. Purity is one of the I was the most attacked in, but more importantly it is one of the things that is most confirmed in me. She encouraged me to remain gentle, because gentleness is a strength. Then she said my husband is going to be blessed to have me because I have so much love to give. Finally, she confirmed that I am absolutely beautiful.
I cried so much- in a good way, and I totally needed to cry and have these emotions be released. I'm so in love with Jesus and I'm being wooed by Him like NEVER before. Well maybe He has been wooing me forever BUT I'm finally allowing myself to be wooed and allowing His love to go even deeper into my heart. I'm being so transformed and I am so thankful for my walk with the Lord!
This leads me to say that while I am still desiring to be pursued by a man, I do not want to be pursued until I really become aware of God's pursuit of me. He is wooing me- He is wooing YOU!
I cannot speak for you, but often times I have settled. I have given far too freely, I have failed to truly guard my heart. Where the Lord has me right now is being in a place where I am learning to allow Him to love me the way I DESERVE to be loved- because the Lord desires to love me and you! We desire love and we deserve to be loved so purely, not because of what you've done but because of what was done for you.
If you're single, relax- it's okay. I am very much single and I am going to make the most of this season. Trust the timing of the Lord, and believe that He is preparing YOU and your future spouse. Love is not to be aroused/awakened early- and if it has been, that's okay. The Lord redeems and through Jesus you can overcome.
Open your eyes and your heart to see how God is pursuing you in this season. As you lock eyes with Him, run after Him and fall in love with Him- God will bring the one you are to marry into your life and he/she will be better than you could ever have imagined. Trust God and His timing.