I made a choice in which I followed passion. I saw red flags going up, but I dismissed them as not being "big enough". I was "talking" to a guy. We mutually liked each other and we knew it. That wasn't the bad thing- the bad thing was I knew it wasn't God's timing and I was walking forward anyways.
Do we trust in God's sovereignty? Do we trust His timing? Sometimes we have desires- things we want- and when they aren't fulfilled, that is less than ideal.
Do we trust in God's sovereignty? Do we trust His timing? Sometimes we have desires- things we want- and when they aren't fulfilled, that is less than ideal.
This just happened to me. This man and I were progressing towards a relationship, but as we did temptation increased BIG time. We sat and talked Friday afternoon and decided it was best to be friends- for now or for good (who knows but God?). Is that what I wanted? No- not at all. Is this what I needed? Yes- I hate to admit it- but I really believe it was what both of us needed.
Surprisingly- well it shouldn't be too surprising (because it was the Lord's will)- I have abundant peace in my heart. I feel such a release. We still have feelings for each other but we want to deepen our friendship. Who knows- we may simply remain friends (and my heart would be more okay with that because I trust God) or perhaps down the line more will come. For now, I am actually more excited to pursue friendship with him than a dating relationship!
God knows what He is doing- He really does. Throughout this whole process- in spite of my stubbornness- God was guarding my heart. Did it experience hurt? Yes, of course. But out of His kindness, He deepened my hunger for Him so that I drew into His presence more and more. I had some of the best times of worship and intimacy with the Lord, and I know it will only increase all the more.
The Lord has increased my confidence in not only Him- but just who I am as me. I am far more confident. He has opened my eyes to see my worth and my value, He has fine-tuned my focus in life and helped me to fix my gaze upon Him.
I cried out to God for help because I didn't know how to get out of the mess I got myself into, and faithfully He drew me out and washed over me with His presence, with singing, with grace and with love.
The Lord is incredibly kind- Jesus is so kind. He is compassionate. When 1 of the 99 sheep wander astray, He goes to find them so that they can be brought back into the safety of His covering. And it doesn't matter how far astray the sheep wanders, Jesus does not desire for anyone to be separated, alone, exposed to the elements, etc. because He absolutely loves us with an unquenchable love.
Jesus has been reminding me of who He is, of who I am and of how loved I am. He's been sending A LOT of people my way to pray for them and encourage them- and I have been hearing God's voice like never before. Somehow through this all, my heart became all the more sensitive and genuine, and I am SO thankful. He drew me out of myself so that I could be fully available for Him.
Whatever you do, wherever you are- remember how much Jesus loves you. Never forget that you have not wandered too far to be out of reach with Jesus. Allow Him to show you His kindness. The photo at the top is of me and my friend Hannah. She bought me a dozen red roses to remind me that I am the Rose of Sharon, I am beautiful, I am loved and I am cherished. How kind is that!? Flowers are one of my love languages for sure, and red roses are by far one of my favorite flowers (tying with Sunflowers of course).
You know, when we fall- sometimes we think we fall backwards multiple steps. But I believe that we fall down, and to simply stand up is progress in the forward direction. Have a beautiful day my loved ones. You are covered by grace and oh are you loved by Jesus! The Lord truly works ALL things out for our good- simply trust Him and allow Him to be your number 1 priority. Giving God control doesn't limit you- but it's the beginning of freedom, opportunity, love, life and fullness. Love you!!!